


104 ain’t no more

by Holy_Moly_Batman



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Attack on Titan AU, Crack with mild plot, F/F, F/M, Highschool chat fic au, Mild Plot, all crack, attack on titan high school au, eventually, i wrote this at one am i’m sorry, like literally just crack, more like everything follows an order, the ships will show up as cracky as possible
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2020-02-27 01:33:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 15,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18729001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holy_Moly_Batman/pseuds/Holy_Moly_Batman
Summary: After Junior high, everyone goes off to different highschools. With one boys refusal to let past friends go, Eren adds everyone to a group chat and chaos happens.





	1. This just in: Mikasa hates Annie

Eren entered Troublesome Trio of Troublemakers

Eren: Holy shit this is still up???

Armin entered Troublesome Trio of Troublemakers

Armin: Eren plz don’t open this, ul just invite everyone and I can’t frickin handle that ok?

Mikasa entered Troublesome Trio of Troublemakers

Mikasa: Eren I swear if you invite a single person to this I will takle you.

Eren changed the group chat name to 104 ain’t no more

Eren invited Connie to the chat

Eren invited Sasha to the chat

Eren invited Reiner to the chat

Eren invited Bertolt to the chat

Eren invited Annie to the chat

Mikasa kicked Annie from the chat

Eren invited Marco to the chat

Eren: did you just kick Annie???

Mikasa: so what if I did?

Eren invited Annie to the chat

Mikasa kicked Annie from the chat

Eren invited Annie to the chat

Annie entered 104 ain’t no more

Mikasa kicked Annie from the chat

Annie left 104 ain’t no more

Connie entered 104 ain’t no more

Connie: why is my phone being spammed?

Eren invited Annie to the chat

Annie entered 104 ain’t no more

Annie: stope fuckinga univitsing me

Mikasa kicked Annie from the chat

Annie left 104 ain’t no more

Connie: lmao was that Annies speed typing???? 

Mikasa invited Jean to the chat

Eren: fine but then Annie frickin stays

Eren invited Annie to the chat

Annie entered 104 ain’t no more

Annie: stop inviting me if ur just going 2 kick me smh

Eren invited Historia to the chat

Eren invited Ymir to the chat

Ymir entered 104 ain’t no more

Ymir: wtf is this hell?

Armin: this chat hasn’t become hell it’s been hell the entire time it’s existed

Ymir: how long have you been waiting to say shit like that?

Armin: my entire life I think.

Reiner entered 104 ain’t no more

Reiner: bless this chat

Bertolt entered 104 ain’t no more

Bertolt: Bless this chat.

Connie: you can tell they r different peepile bc bertolt uses propper punctuation

Annie: yeah, but you clearly don’t.

Mikasa: are you really going to be this talkative in the chat? You can barely open ur mouth irl, or are you just so short I can’t hear you from all the way up here?

Annie: congrats I think you just sunk down to my level. I’m sure you can hear me just fine now?

Mikasa: bitch

Annie: creative.

Bertolt: Guys don’t fight, please.

Connie: that sentence looks wrong is ur grandma off?

Eren: Connie, do you have auto correct on?

Connie: no shirt head.

Connie: why to wood i

Annie: still the most intelligent sentence I’ve heard from him.

Mikasa: ur shit at throwing shade, maybe its bc ur too short.

Annie: how do you mute people?

Reiner: press the chat information button and you can mute someone.

Mikasa: you’d like to mute me wouldn’t you?

Annie: did she respond with a snarky comment? Idk if it worked.

Eren: good to see things are heating up already, this makes it all worth it. I’d like to formally invite all of you to our group chat. Go nuts.


	2. Fish water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh no, Reiner don’t thats the teachers pet, Reiner no, damnit, you deserve what you have coming.

Eren entered 104 ain’t no more

Eren: Reiner drank the fish

Bertolt entered 104 ain’t no more

Bertolt: He did what now?

Eren: He DrAnK tHE FiSH

Bertolt: WHAT FISH

Eren: THE FISH IN THE CLASSROOM

Bertolt: Why????!?!?

Eren: Connie told him to

Bertolt: What the shit

Annie entered 104 ain’t no more

Annie: what an idiot

Bertolt: But he’s our idiot.

Annie: nope, just yours.

Bertolt: (;-;)

Annie: guys it’s high school wtf 

Mikasa entered 104 ain’t no more

Mikasa: let Reiner drink the fish if he wants too

Bertolt: no

Annie: what do you mean no, it’s high school

Mikasa: does that bitch still have me muted

Eren: I don’t think she ever unmuted you

Mikasa: i’ll break her short ass legs

Bertolt: please don’t do that

Annie: lmao is Mikasa saying stuff? Yeah I still have her muted.

Bertolt: back to the fish

Connie entered 104 ain’t no more

Connie: ripperoni flippers

Eren: his name was bean I think

Mikasa: Eren is always right.

Connie: what???? I could have sworn it was flippers

Mikasa: what ever his name was, it’s bean now.

Annie: why does your class even have a fish, it’s high school?

Eren: teachers pet

Eren: was the teachers pet

Eren: Reiners lunch now.

Annie: I hate you people holy crap

Bertolt: is Reiner ok??? I feel like that would make someone really sick???

Eren: yeah he totally threw up.

Eren: it was a mess.

Jean entered 104 ain’t no more

Jean: what the hell is this

Eren: late to the party dumbass

Jean: can I fucking leave???

Eren: no, otherwise annie has to leave

Annie: wtf why

Eren: thems the rules

Jean: do you have those rules set up for anyone else???

Mikasa: just the two of you.

Jean: why????

Mikasa: bc Annie sucks

Jean: lmao are you looking to be clapped?

Mikasa: you forget who you’re talking to, I’m too strong

Jean: u sayin ur muscles r dummy thicc???

Mikasa: yeah, see Annie is to cowardly to defend herself.

Connie: no, an knee muted you

Jean: lmaooo

Annie: Jean you should probably mute Eren, or Eren mute Jean

Eren: good idea

Jean: I did it first

Connie: I wonder if they can see eachothers stuff now

Jean: I don’t think Eren will have blocked me, suicidal bastard wants to fight.

Eren: like horse face would block me, no doubt he’s saddling himself up for war rn lmaooo.

Annie: no they can’t see each other

Mikasa: but I can still see you bitch

Bertolt: Please guys, it’s been two days in the chat and like three people are muted.

Eren: wait who is the third???

Jean: Eren muted me???????

Annie: I’m about to mute all of you smh

Annie: anyways, I gotta go

Jean: bye

Eren: chow

Connie: purchase

Annie left 104 ain’t no more

Bertolt: Connie did you download a thesaurus or something

Connie: what the hell is a the sour us?

Bertolt: how did you misspell it, it was right in the text above T-T

Connie: it is spelled right you are just i’l iterate.

Bertolt: :(

Eren: really tho fix your spleing

Jean: like you’re one to talk

Mikasa: you unmuted him

Jean: yeah I’m not a dick and Bertolt is right we shouldn’t mute each other.

Mikasa: good so I don’t need to beat your ass

Jean: I muted him again

Mikasa: and I muted you

Jean: mi amor (;^;)

Bertolt: No fear once you’re muted I guess?

Jean: none whatsoever

Bertolt: Either way, I’m proud of you.

Connie: Up date rein herr is bee swing take ent to the hostile pit hole.

Eren: I’m smashing you’re phone if you don’t turn off auto correct.

Mikasa: I swear he’s pranking us, Eren let it go.

Eren: I can’t read what he s a y s

Connie: wow ah how did you add spaces?

Bertolt: did he get salmonella or something???

Mikasa: I don’t think you can get that by chugging fish water.

Bertolt: y o u n e v e r k n o w

Jean: You can get Salmonella from eating raw fish, it’s more common in some times rather than others though. But I doubt he’ll get it from chugging fish water.

Connie: off

Eren: oh did you turn ur autocorrect off??

Connie: no

Eren: bitch

Eren: don’t be a coward.

Connie: I’m not a cow herd bitcoin

Eren: turn on ur location

Connie: no

Connie left 104 ain’t no more

Bertolt: now how will I know if reiner is dead?

Jean: Eren’s in his class isn’t he??

Bertolt: yeah but like (,-°~°),-

Jean: what does that even mean?

Eren: who the hell are you responding to?

Bertolt: please just unmute Jean

Eren: fine

Jean: ew he’s umuting me?

Eren: muted again

Bertolt: ffs

Bertolt: I will break through the walls in your house, steal your phones and make them unmute each other.

Eren: muted

Bertolt: I’m starting to know how Annie feels

Jean: you can break through walls?

Bertolt: yeah

Mikasa: yeah what? Did Jean say something?

Bertolt: actually tho please umute each other this is just annoying, it’s not funny anymore. I will buy you a pack of oreos if you umute each other.

Mikasa: yeah I’m down

Jean: lol same

Eren: what’s happening?

Jean: should we tell him?

Bertolt: he muted me, that was his decision. He’s made his bed now he can lie in it.


	3. Antique Fork

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don’t throw forks in rich people fruit ponds kids.

Jean entered 104 ain’t no more

Jean: Annie what the frick frack paddy wack did you do to marco???

Armin entered 104 ain’t no more

Armin: she said she’s sorry

Eren entered 104 ain’t no more

Eren: wait,,, whats happing?

Mikasa entered 104 ain’t no more

Mikasa: spill the frickin’ tea

Jean: Marco was stabbed

Jean: with a fork

Armin: he is the one who spilled soup everywhere

Armin: Annies sweater got all chicken soupy after

Eren: what 

Jean: yeah but what the hell were Reiner and Bertolt talking about????

Armin: it’s a long story

Mikasa: I’ll break your legs, Jean, explain

Jean: I don’t know the specifics but something something reiner and bertolt soup and marco getting stabbed in the face by annie with a fork

Eren: what...

Mikasa: she’s getting kicked, screw her.

Mikasa kicked Annie from the chat

Eren: shsjsjhsjshskskshsksjhsksj 

Eren: mika we talked about this

Armin: wait when did you unmute jean, eren?

Eren: awhile ago, not important rn

Eren: armin you clearly know what happened???

Armin: it’s a long story ok.

Eren: I got a spare block so speeeel

Armin: ok 

Armin: so it all started this morning when reiner and bertolt were talking about mosquitos 

Mikasa: how the hell does that go to soup and then stabbing

Armin: they were talking about wiping all mosquitoes out of existence or something, and Marco was really confused and paying really close attention to what they were saying when he walked by, but then he slipped on Connies lava lamp and dropped his soup, Annie slipped on it and stabbed Marco in the face with a fork

Eren: why did connie have a lava lamp at school

Eren: why did marco have soup in the morning

Eren: why do reiner and bertolt want to get rid of all mosquitoes 

Eren: why did Annie have a fork in the morning

Armin: connie had a lava lamp with him because he dared sasha to drink lava lamp water the other day but she didn’t know what a lava lamp was so he brought it to show her

Armin: marco was trying to preform a ancient ritual with the soup

Armin: annie was coming in to ask the others who lost the antique fork

Armin: and bertolt and reiner were playing rugby this morning and everyone on the team got murdered by mosquitoes

Jean: ok but why was marco trying to do a ritual

Armin: he’s also on the rugby team

Jean: what was Connies lamp doing on the ground anyways?

Armin: Ymir threw it

Jean: what the hell did Ymir have to do with any of this

Ymir entered 104 ain’t no more

Ymir: let’s just say Connie will never touch a banana again

Eren: banana?????

Ymir: yeah I shoved one in the lava lamp lmao

Jean:??????

Ymir: long story short, screw annie and her antique fork

Jean: how does that connect to the damn fork??????????

Sasha entered 104 ain’t no more

Sasha: that stupid fork

Sasha: I thought I got rid of it when I threw it in the river but oh noooo

Mikasa: I’ve been skipping texts and honestly is this a new conversation

Armin: ok, I’ll start all the way from the beginning

Armin: so basically Sasha found this fork on her way to her part time job last night, it’s a really cool glass for with some metal workings on it, anyways so sasha brought it home with her and it was like bad luck of something because everything was breaking around her house

Eren: are you sure thats not just bc ur cheap?

Sasha: shhuuut up

Armin: so she threw it in the river, y’know the one all the rich people’s trees drop stuff in??? Yeah that one. 

Armin: so basically the fork picked up this really bug banana that was floating in the water and washed up by annies house, and it looked familiar to her so she thought it was one of our classes.

Armin: so when she brought it to class, she also brought the banana, bc like??? It’s a big banana why not.

Armin: so Ymir comes up to annie and asks her about the fork, annie explains and them sasha and connie walk in with the lava lamp, sasha was trying to get the lid of the bottle off, but couldn’t so Ymir tried to use annies fork to pull it off (none realized that it was a twist off) and Ymir ended up breaking the entire lid of the lava lamp

Armin: so then there was a hole the perfect size for the banana, so then Ymir stuffed the banana into the lava lamp and tried to turn it on but then hot wax was getting everywhere so she threw it across the room and the hot wax got all over the banana

Armin: and then the thing with marco and the soup happened when annie was going to ask him if the fork was his.

Eren: what a wild ride

Jean: yeah...

Jean: i’m not even sure whose fault the whole stabbing is anymore

Ymir: personally, I blame sasha for finding the fork.

Sasha: well I tried to get rid of it!

Ymir: and look what happened

Ymir: you can’t release bad luck into the world like that, trap it in like,,, a sliver box

Ymir: or smthn

Mikasa: yeah no, silvers for werewolves, trust me

Jean: what do you mean trust you???

Jean: mikasa????

Eren: she doesn’t like talking about it lay off jean

Jean: what the hELL did you say

Eren: eat shit

Armin: can we add annie back now?

Mikasa: no

Eren: lmao

Eren: she did stab someone

Armin: not her fault really.

Eren: ok but like(,-°=°),- boi

Armin: I’m adding her back

Armin invited Annie to the chat

Annie entered 104 ain’t no more

Annie: I’m assuming you told them the story?

Armin: yeah babe

Annie: sweet.

Jean: babe????

Eren: babe?????

Mikasa: ARMIN MY CHILD, BLOOD OF MY BLOOD WHAT DO YOU MEAN BABE?


	4. Burn baby burn

Historia entered 104 ain’t no more

Historia: shit shit shostshsotsjsots

Historia: can anyone pick up their phones??????

Historia: hello????

Historia: ymir???

Ymir entered 104 ain’t no more

Ymir: yes my future wife, the love of my life? My holy angel? My sun and moon? The blood that flows through my veins and makes my heart beat with life????

Historia: i drove my car into a lamp post, can you A) pick me up

Historia: B) set the car on fire and hide the evidence?

Ymir: does both work?

Historia: in an ideal world yes

Eren entered 104 ain’t no more

Eren: holy crap that was you guys????

Historia: yeah sorry

Eren: mikasa is fighting annie because she thought annie lit the cars on fire???

Historia: lmao my bad

Ymir: yeah, my bad too

Eren: they both suffocated each other

Historia: you should probably call an ambulance

Eren: how hard did you hit that post? The car shape is like,,, indented

Eren: it looks like it’s from a cartoon

Historia: wait did you say cars, plural?

Eren: yeah, my car and the one that blew up next to it.

Eren: never mind mine just blew up.

Historia: a shit. Well I’ll buy you a new one.

Eren: wild

Armin entered 104 ain’t no more

Armin: thank you Eren for not calling 911 while both our girlfriends killed eachother

Connie entered 104 ain’t no more

Connie: sounds hot.

Armin: it was, Erens lawn almost caught fire

Connie: do you think we can roast s’mores over the car fire?

Armin: I mean, at least someone’s gotta enjoy this.

Connie: I’ll be right over

Connie left 104 ain’t no more

Armin: Eren, keep a fire extinguisher close by, I’m going in the ambulance with Annie and Mikasa

Armin left 104 ain’t no more

Historia: how did both cars catch fire anyways, only mine should have been lit up?

Ymir: i missed

Historia: you... missed?

Ymir: I missed

Historia: ok but how

Ymir: firstly, I didn’t think what kind of car you drove, secondly, it really shouldn’t have lit up so easily, eren what was in there that was so flammable??

Eren: probably my older brothers stuff

Eren: yeah

Eren: cool, thanks for blowing it up

Ymir: is that sarcasm?

Eren: nope

Ymir: is that?

Eren: my brother is kind of a dick

Eren: he’s useful like when Mikasa isn’t around otherwise screw him

Historia: I didn’t even know you had a brother

Reiner entered 104 ain’t no more

Reiner: Zeke is our king.

Reiner: he could kick anyones ass

Reiner: even Levi

Historia: press x to doubt

Annie entered 104 ain’t no more

Annie: who the hell is Levi???

Reiner: co captain of the swim team

Reiner: also Mikasas cousin

Annie: ah shit, here I go again

Annie: wait, will I actually have to fight him too? Like, is he like mikasa?

Reiner: nonono, I saw him kick the shit out of Eren once.

Reiner: they were playing soccer and the ball flew at erens face and he got a bloody nose, the blood got all over the ball so levi wrecked him.

Annie: thats extreme

Annie: what does he drown the swim team or something if they lose?

Reiner: he only beats up eren

Eren: yeah but he’s still cool tho

Annie: bRuH

Eren: i’m not wrong

Reiner: he’s not

Mikasa entered 104 ain’t no more

Mikasa: Levi is a dick

Eren: please tell me you guys got separated hospital rooms

Annie: no, mostly because Mikasa broke my collar bone and I broke her arm so we can’t move anyways.

Reiner: no offense but lmao

Eren: oh shit the fire’s spreading

Reiner: don’t you have a fire put outer?

Eren: it’s in the house.

Reiner: didn’t armin say you would need it

Eren: lmao never mind fire dep is here

Eren left 104 ain’t no more

Connie entered 104 ain’t no more

Sasha entered 104 ain’t no more

Sasha: lol Eren was arrested for arson

Connie: he looked so offended

Ymir: damn, what a unlucky thing to have happen

Sasha: aren’t you the one who started the fire???

Ymir: what? What are you talking about. No. I don’t even know how to make a fire. Don’t lie sash, not good for your rep

Sasha: damn ok. Either way I got good s’mores out of it. 

Mikasa: i’ll kicked those officers asses if Eren gets charged.

Eren entered 104 ain’t no more

Annie: back so soon? Last time I was hauled in it took me a week to get my phone lol

Reiner: that’s because you were in jail for like suspected murder or something. There still isn’t evidence on who did it or who didn’t

Annie: I can’t be charged with anything. 

Annie: plus I have a very valid alibi.

Connie: I had no idea you were suspect for a murder case

Sasha: wtheck

Eren: hello, this is actually officer Nanaba from the police station, we noticed that Eren was texting someone the whole time the fire was going, also he’s been denying that he even started it, he claims this chat has evidence of who did.

Ymir left 104 ain’t no more

Historia left 104 ain’t no more

Annie left 104 ain’t no more

Mikasa left 104 ain’t no more

Reiner: it was Ymir.

Eren: can I get a last name?

Reiner left 104 ain’t no more

Connie left 104 ain’t no more

Sasha: yeah, none of us know it. Sorry.

Eren: don’t worry, we’ll catch them eventually.

Sasha left 104 ain’t no more

Eren: the nice officer gave my phone back, you can all come back now

Eren: guys?

Eren: I swear its me.

Annie entered 104 ain’t no more

Annie: that’s just what a cop would say

Annie left 104 ain’t no more

Eren: damnit


	5. If you know you know

Marco entered 104 ain’t no more

Marco: I’m not half the man I used to be

Sasha entered 104 ain’t no more

Sasha: CREEP STONE TEMPLE PILOTS 

Marco: wrong

Sasha: SHIT SKSJSKSHSJ

Bertolt entered 104 ain’t no more

Bertolt: uh uh uh uh uh

Bertolt: one and a half men theme song????

Marco: way off

Bertolt: sorry I couldn’t think of anything else

Annie entered 104 ain’t no more

Annie: is that a lyric from the Beatles song Yesterday?

Marco: YES

Bertolt: crap

Sasha: dammit I don’t even know that song...

Annie: it was released in ‘59 get with it.

Sasha: it’s 2019

Sasha: that’s like 100 years ago

Sasha: how do you know it

Marco: your math scares me

Eren entered 104 ain’t no more

Eren: shit did I miss Marcos funday monday???

Bertolt: yeah, say the words quick

Bertolt: half’ the week is over

Eren: half’ the week is over

Sasha: half’ the week is over

Ymir entered 104 ain’t no more

Ymir: half’ the week is over

Ymir: good I’m not late

Historia entered 104 ain’t no more

Historia: half’ the week is over

Historia left the chat

Annie: what is going on?

Marco: Marcos specialty funday, we do a lyric competition and who ever wins gets to choose what the last person to message half’ the week is over either says or wears infront of a teacher

Reiner entered 104 ain’t no more

Reiner: half’ the week is over

Reiner: lmao safe

Jean entered 104 ain’t no more

Jean: half’ the week is over

Jean: damn it’s between Connie and Mikasa and Armin now right?

Jean: this’ll be interesting

Armin entered 104 ain’t no more

Armin: screw that

Armin: half’ the week is over

Mikasa entered 104 ain’t no more

Connie entered 104 ain’t no more

Armin: oh wait, Annie won? I would’ve been fine I guess

Connie: half’ the week is over

Mikasa: half’ the week is over

Marco: and Mikasa takes last place

Marco: that was so close wow

Connie: my heart it going rapid speed

Mikasa: shit crap damnit 

Eren: yikes it’s rivalry time?

Mikasa: t r y m e b i t ch

Annie: how many things can I say to do?

Marco: one sentence and a whole outfit

Annie: both? Damn ok.

Annie: take off your scarf for a whole day, and when a teacher asks you a question say “Don’t ask me ask Eren”

Jean: that first thing not so bad, the second part is a direct hit. Rip mikasa

Mikasa: screw you

Eren: why are you making me suffer?

Annie: (;J;) 

Bertolt: ...did you use a J for your nose?

Marco: that’s personalizing a emote

Armin: wow

Mikasa: with that big ass nose you look like a clown btw

Mikasa: honk honk bitch

Reiner: can anyone else do that??

Ymir: uhh let me try 

Ymir: ‘(;~;)\\(Ô>Ô)z -(marry me when this is over)

Jean: that’s pretty good

Eren: c—°•^) horse face

Jean: how does that even work?

Eren: the c is its nose dummy and it’s got two eyes and the horse ear

Jean: ????

Jean: I’m and artist and bruh what

Marco: nono I see it.

Ymir: me too

Mikasa: looks just like you jean.

Sasha: yeah thats pretty accurate 

Connie: d(ŒO) i approve

Jean: now that looks like Connie

Sasha: what how??

Jean: it has his lips.

Bertolt: he’s right.

Marco: it’s true

Reiner: (Î . Î) kinda looks like Armin?

Eren: idk, it could use something more...

Armin: wanna hear my hot take on all this

Marco: of course

Armin: OwO

Marco kicked Armin from the chat

Armin left the chat

Marco: anyone else wanna try it?

Reiner: yo, why’s he got admin priv??

Eren: he’s nice and very trust worthy

Bertolt: he just kicked your childhood best friend from the chat for making a face???

Eren: clearly you don’t understand 

Eren: and there’s no way I’m explaining it

Mikasa: it’s better this way

Bertolt: Annie, aren’t you going to defend your boyfriend???

Annie: after that text I’m thinking of breaking up

Reiner: what does it mean???

Connie: even I know

Sasha: I don’t

Eren: well, we’re not telling you

Mikasa: this chat is keeping its self away from dirty minded stuff like that thanks

Ymir: it’s for the best

Ymir: bwuwt hwawvwew ywuwow cwownswiwdwewrwewd thwiws?

Eren kicked Ymir from the chat

Ymir left the chat

Eren: oh shit it’s spreading

Connie: whats spweading (:3)

Eren kicked Connie from the chat

Connie left the chat

Bertolt: oh no I just searched it up...

Bertolt: it’s lewd...

Bertolt: however

Eren: hoe don’t do it

Bertolt: UwU

Mikasa kicked Bertolt from the chat

Bertolt left the chat

Mikasa: for humanity

Reiner: howy shwit

Mikasa kicked Reiner from the chat

Reiner left the chat

Eren: sound off whose left?

Marco: here

Mikasa: present

Annie: I hate all of you so much

Annie left the chat

Sasha: here, jeans here too I think

Mikasa: let him say he’s here himself

Jean:...

Jean: • • •

Eren kicked Jean from the chat

Jean left the chat

Sasha: he didn’t even do anything

Eren: he was about to

Eren: I know he was

Marco: give him a chance

Eren: only bc you said it

Eren invited Jean to the chat

Jean entered 104 ain’t no more

Jean: bwitch UwO

Marco kicked Eren from the chat

Eren left the chat

Jean: WHAT A TWIST

Mikasa: I hope you have insurance

Marco: I don’t so

Marco kicked Mikasa from the chat

Mikasa left the chat

Marco: alright. I’m your king now.

Sasha: all hail king Marco

Jean: hell yeah, all hail king Marco

Jean: you should invite everyone back tho

Marco: yeah probably

Marco invited Connie to the chat

Connie entered 104 ain’t no more

Marco invited Ymir to the chat

Ymir entered 104 ain’t no more

Marco invited Armin to the chat

Armin entered 104 ain’t no more

Marco invited Reiner to the chat

Reiner entered 104 ain’t no more

Marco invited Bertolt to the chat

Bertolt entered 104 ain’t no more

Marco invited Eren to the chat

Ere entered 104 ain’t no more

Marco invited Mikasa to the chat

Mikasa entered 104 ain’t no more

Marco: I think thats everyone

Mikasa removed Marcos admin privileges 

Marco: this is fair and I understand.

Marco: so, Mikasa do you consent to the Marco competition? You did lose

Mikasa: WAIT

Mikasa: Annie never said the words

Mikasa: she was last

Marco: I mean, you right

Jean: so... Annie chooses what Annie wear and says...

Eren: thats... less fun... or something...

Marco: I don’f make the rules

Armin: yes you do

Annie: cool.

Annie: just so you know I’m never participating in this ever again

Reiner: you’re no fun

Annie: I know


	6. Furry or Demon?

Jean entered 104 ain’t no more

Jean: so... Eren’s a furry...

Armin entered 104 ain’t no more

Armin: oh, you saw the picture

Armin: pretty sure his brother brainwashed him into being a furry

Armin: thats him in the back of the picture in the ape suit...

Jean: what animal is eren anyways??

Armin: honestly looks like naked pissed off eren

Eren entered 104 ain’t no more

Eren: firstly, the onesie is cool

Eren: secondly, I’m not a furry, its a monster onesie

Eren: if anyone here is a furry it’s you Jean, why you gotta look like a horse SMH

Jean: way to play defense

Jean: so what, are Bertolt, Annie and Reiner also furries?

Eren: monster onesie

Armin: yeah, well they’re not actually furries and I just stole Bertolt’s onesie

Reiner entered 104 ain’t no more

Reiner: so you were the one sneaking around his house

Jean: it’s 8pm on a school night why are you a Bertolts house???

Reiner: have you ever seen us not next to eachother???

Eren: are you guys dating?

Reiner: no, Berts just like a brother to me.

Armin: completely fair and I respect that.

Armin: but I’m keeping the onesie

Reiner: Why’d you take it...

Reiner: also Zeke made those specially for us

Eren: is that what he told you???

Eren: my dad made that shit lol

Reiner: bitch w h a t

Reiner: y o u r d a d c a n s e w ? ? ?

Eren: who else is supposed to make me awesome outfits??? My nonexistent mother??

Reiner: y’know what that’s fair

Bertolt entered 104 ain’t no more

Bertolt: where’s my onesie???

Bertolt: Armin why’d you take it

Armin: by taking your stuff Annie and I will have a deeper connection

Bertolt: Reiner where’d you go???

Reiner: since we don’t have matching outfits anymore I was thinking of looking for a new best friend.

Bertolt: bro...

Reiner: don’t bro me if you don’t know me

Bertolt: Armin please give my onesie back...

Armin: no,,, Reiner just showed up at my house, I like having the brawn to my brain around

Eren: yeah, just like mikasa and myself

Armin: who’s the brain in this situation...?

Eren: mikasa

Armin: and the brawn is...?

Eren: also mikasa, but I’m basically a add on that comes with mikasa

Eren: i have no redeeming qualities other than my refusal to die and enough anger to eat my way through a tree

Jean: refusal to die?

Armin: once Eren got hit by a car, broke like two bones in his arms, broke his ribs, and one leg. He still got up and started swearing at the guy driving while banging on his car and threatening violence 

Armin: that’s when I found out what true fear was

Jean: wtf

Eren: come at me horse head

Jean: y’know what I’m good

Eren: bitch

Reiner: Just gonna say, Armin has the best movies lmao???

Bertolt: I thought I had the best movies ;-;

Reiner: ok but like, Armin’s are better

Bertolt: has Annie reacted to the onesie??

Armin: yo I think she’s in like a coma

Reiner: yeah

Bertolt: what???

Armin: idk man, she fell asleep like an hour ago and reiner just tried to wake her by like punching her arm

Armin: she didn’t even move

Reiner: i think she’s lost all brain function

Reiner: then again thats the same as always

Eren: yo it’s been 20 minutes without an update what happened?

Armin: oh sorry, after reiner texted that Annie sat up and slapped him

Armin: but she was still asleep

Reiner: I’m looking for how to exorcize demons right now

Eren: oh I know about that, i think it was salt

Eren: give her salt

Armin: like make a circle?

Eren: yeah

Reiner left the chat

Bertolt: that would just trap her

Bertolt: you need a priest and some holy water

Bertolt: or just a cross would help

Bertolt: you’re supposed to yell like demon begon or something, idk haven’t done it for awhile

Jean: for awhile...?

Armin: something’s happening!

Armin: oh, no nevermind. She’s choking reiner out

Armin: she has a really strong grip...

Armin: ok now they’re both asleep.

Armin: feels like a successful onesie sleep over to me

Armin left the chat

Jean: so... how many onesies are there?

Eren: nine I think

Jean: are they good quality?

Eren: why are you interested horse face?

Jean: you need new material

Bertolt: yeah, they’re really soft and warm and Mr Jeager made them specifically to fit us so they’re really nice

Jean: who has the other ones?

Bertolt: Zeke, Eren, Reiner, Annie, Ymir, some guys from camp that you don’t know, and I think that’s it

Eren: they’ve all got cool names too

Jean: mmm?

Eren: I’m not naming them it takes too long

Eren: but when we all get together for sleep overs you know it’s gonna be a rad time

Eren: except some of zekes friends are really creepy...

Bertolt: pieck is a cinnamon roll

Eren: she crawled over me while I was in my sleeping bag, she was like on all four I felt like I was in a horror movie

Bertolt: at least she didn’t use someone elses head as a nut cracker

Eren: he asked for it.

Bertolt: you could have broken his teeth 

Jean: sorry, what’s happening here?

Eren: one of the guys with a onesie (actually I think he stole his from Ymir) i made him crack open a walnut with his teeth

Jean: ...why?

Eren: test of courage

Jean: how do you even have any friends

Eren: murder. But like self defense 

Bertolt: sometimes it be like that.

Jean: I really hate talking to like. Both of you

Jean: it’s a struggle

Eren: a struggle you have to deal with

Jean: ...

Eren: *finger guns*

Jean left the chat

Bertolt: so you think your dad could make me another one...

Eren: nope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry,,, it’s kinda short but I ran out of material. Feel free to put your favourite character in tue comments and I’ll try to add them  
> To the next chapter


	7. Who killed the party?

Ymir entered 104 ain’t no more

Ymir: yo, heads up uhhh

Ymir: reiner ate all the party chips

Reiner entered 104 ain’t no more

Reiner: oh shit it’s a rat

Ymir: what

Reiner: snitches get Stiches

Marco entered 104 ain’t no more

Marco: aw those were my favourite chips

Reiner: oh no, I’m sorry marco

Reiner: now I actually feel bad...

Ymir: you better

Marco: it’s alright, can you just go to the store and pick up more?

Reiner: that is fair, sure

Reiner: tell ya what, I’ll buy two bags

Marco: ty so much

Reiner left the chat

Marco: btw I invited afew adults to the party to keep it alcohol free

Ymir: you bitch

Ymir: who did you invite????

Marco: Mr Pixis

Ymir: oh lol nvm he’s gonna be the one spiking everything

Marco: what???????

Ymir: did you not notice that half the time he was teaching he was drunk

Marco: nO I just thought he was a fun person

Marco: h 0 w is hE still a Teacher

Ymir: -,(=/),- idk but he’s living the dream

Marco: oh nonono I gotta find a solution now

Marco left the chat

Ymir: lmao see yall at the party I guess???

Ymir left the chat

Connie entered 104 ain’t no more

Connie: just got to the party, why’s everyone so afraid looking?

Connie: oH

Connie: OH

Connie: WHO INVITED MR SHADIS

Armin entered 104 ain’t no more

Armin: oh noo, it’s too late, he’s already hammered Connie into the ground

Armin: what is his head metal plated or something?

Eren entered 104 ain’t no more

Eren: I would not be surprised

Connie left the chat

Mikasa entered 104 ain’t no more

Mikasa: I enjoy his company

Eren: you are the only one

Armin: yep

Mikasa: just give him a chance

Armin: and bruise my beautiful forehead? I don’t think so

Armin: i may have massive bangs but a big blue spot will shine through my luxurious blonde hair

Eren: did that need to be so descriptive 

Armin: yes

Mikasa: bit extra if you ask me...

Armin: anyone found out yet who’s the fiend who invited him?

Eren: Marco us denying it surprisingly 

Eren: he says his plan was to test the levels of alcohol in the punch and he’s the one who gave out the individual drink testers that test for drugs

Mikasa: so, the question is, who hates alcohol enough to invite Shadis over to stop it?

Mikasa: Bertolt get in here

Bertolt entered 104 ain’t no more

Bertolt: I swear it wasn’t me

Bertolt: this may surprise you, but I too enjoy underaged drinking from time to time

Armin: oh? Give us a example of something you love to drink

Eren: my moneys on something soft like sake

Bertolt: it’s kinda embarrassing but I like straight Vodka

Armin: what th

Armin: what

Armin: whi

Bertolt: I like how it burns

Armin: nasty

Mikasa: aight, you can go now, send in sasha

Bertolt: alright

Bertolt left the chat

Sasha entered 104 ain’t no more

Sasha: why would you even expect me???

Armin: yeah, why her? She has more fear of Shadis than anyone here

Mikasa: ye, but she’s also always so proper, therefore she probably doesn’t drink right? Maybe even against all alcohol

Sasha: Connie and I came prepared to do shots...

Eren: do you have any proof?

Sasha: bottle of vodka in my purse

Eren: whats with everyone and Vodka???

Sasha: beer is the drink of a coward

Armin: beer kinda taste ok...

Mikasa: you can leave, send in historia

Sasha left the chat

Ymir entered 104 ain’t no more

Ymir: don’t even bother, we were both thinking of getting drunk and making out on Marcos table, guess thats ruined

Historia entered 104 ain’t no more

Historia: she’s right you know

Historia left the chat

Ymir left the chat

Mikasa: actually who could it be?

Mikasa: this is starting to hurt my head

Eren: Jean did you do this to us??

Jean entered 104 ain’t no more

Jean: hell no

Jean: I was looking forward to spiked punch

Armin: you weren’g actually planning on getting drunk, you’re just lying rn to seem cool

Jean: did marco tell you that?

Jean: bc he’s right

Jean: I don’t support alcohol but i’m not gonna ruin it for everyone.

Armin: that doesn’t sound like you, yeah

Mikasa: I think he’s innocent this time

Armin: fine, but what now?

Mikasa: time to do bag checks.

Eren: what did yall find?

Mikasa: Annie brought margarita mix

Mikasa: ymir and historia did indeed bring alcohol, lesbian couples have more purse space I guess, bc hot damn they brought alot

Mikasa: mr pixis has whiskey in his flask

Mikasa: Litteraly everyone brought alcohol, even Jean brought alcoholic iced tea for everyone else

Mikasa: who the hell invited shadis

Armin: idk, but I’m leaving, the whole party is starting to dissipate

Eren: same, party is def over

Mikasa: Marco looks so sad, sorry Marco, we’ll find who did this

Eren: we promise

Marco entered 104 ain’t no more

Marco: thanks you guys...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued...
> 
> Feel free to guess who invited Shadis, you’ll require knowledge of the characters from cannon!


	8. I’ll molotov cocktail your house

Eren created chat 

Eren named chat Party police

Eren added Mikasa to the chat

Mikasa entered Party police

Eren added Armin to the chat

Armin entered Party police

Eren added Marco to the chat

Marco entered Party police

Eren: alright. Lets figure this thing out

Armin: so I’ve been reading alot of horror books

Marco: sorry, how does that help?

Armin: i can now interrogate the shit out of people by scaring them

Eren: no ya can’t

Armin: i will try interrogating annie

Armin: what do you want to know

Mikasa: why’s she so short

Armin: she punched me. I’ll go ask Reiner something

Eren: is he still hanging out with you? Really??

Armin: ik right. It’s amazing

Armin: I pressured him into telling me that the only reason he hangs out with me is because he’s trying to expand his horizon on friends but worries that by leaving bertolt (as a buddy) he’s lost the best friend he’ll ever have in this life

Eren: holy crap it works

Marco: cool, interrogate pixis

Mikasa: literally why didn’t we ask pixis earlier if he invited him???

Marco: dummy thicc brains ik

Marco: anyways, Armin you got his number?

Armin: have the number of his daughter

Armin: calling her now

Armin left the chat

Eren: i’m excited to see who invited him

Eren: so i know who to punch

Mikasa: i mean we don’t need alcohol at a party to have fun

Marco: in case you didn’t notice nobody could do anything out of fear of shadis

Mikasa: ok that’s true

Eren: ò-ó, i just wanna catch the binch who did it

Marco: don’t we all?

Armin entered Party Police

Armin: he did not invite shadis

Armin: he was drunk before he even showed up!

Mikasa: seriously how does he keep a job...

Armin: don’t know, don’t care

Armin: he did suggest tho to go through what everyone brought again, I mentioned all the stuff to him and he laughed

Armin: I think he knows something we don’t

Mikasa: ok so,,, Jean-iced teas (alcoholic), ymir+historia-various drinks in their purses, bertolt-vodka, connie+sasha-vodka, annie-margarita mix, mikasa-rum, eren-beer

Armin: so that leaves Marco and Reiner and myself who didn’t bring anything?

Armin: but technically Marco had a liquor cabinet so he did have alcohol. And we all know I don’t have the money to buy alcohol...

Armin: time to interrogate Reiner again

Eren: results please!

Armin: reiner is allergic to cats, also he did actually bring a small container of homemade moonshine

Eren: what the hell

Mikasa: how did we miss that

Armin: he says he didn’t have it on him

Mikasa: then who could it have been?????

Marco: hey

Marco: hey hey

Marco: WAIT

Marco: MARGARITA MIX ISN’T ALCOHOLIC IT’S GLORIFIED LIME JUICE

Eren: but it’s used in alcoholic drinks?

Marco: but you can make virgin margaritas!

Marco: Annie made the virgin margaritas at the party!

Mikasa: thats what those were???

Mikasa: I thought that was just really sour limeaid

Armin: !!!!

Armin: That’s right! Annie loves limeaid!

Marco: holy shit it was Annie wasn’t it

Armin: !!!! She’s leaving!!!!!

Mikasa: follow her

Armin: will do!

Eren: why would she ruin our fun?!?

Armin: Just remembered she frickin hates alcohol! How could I forget!!!

Armin: something something guy she worked with was drinking and smoking alot! Can’t believe i forgot

Armin: it’s a pretty memorable story bc she dropped the guys cigar into his drink to get him to stop doing both...

Eren: can you update is on where she’s going

Armin: home! She went home.

Eren: plain. Aight, imma spill the beans in the regular chat

-

Eren entered 104 ain’t no more

Eren: Annie did it

Eren: Annie invited Shadis

Ymir entered 104 ain’t no more

Historia entered 104 ain’t no more

Bertolt entered 104 ain’t no more

Jean entered 104 ain’t no more

Sasha entered 104 ain’t no more

Connie entered 104 ain’t no more

Ymir: that bitch, what is her alcohol tolerance like really low or something and she was too embarrassed to get shit faced drunk with the rest of us what the hell she doesn’t have the right to ruin our fun like that lets kick her from the chat for this bs, like what the Hell????

Historia: Annie is cancelled

Jean: going to her house ready to linch her, anyone else wanna come?

Connie: I’m in

Ymir: me too

Historia: hell yeah

Eren: yes, please

Sasha: you bet your buttons I’m coming too

Marco entered 104 ain’t no more

Marco: yeah, she ruined my party, but you don’t need to linch her for it...

Mikasa entered 104 ain’t no more

Mikasa: b u r n t h e w i t c h

Sasha: burn the witch

Connie: burn the witch

Jean: she’s asleep

Jean: the doors are locked

Marco: actually tho what are you gonna do, murder is illegal

Jean: give her a stern talking to

Marco: ah.

Sasha: give the witch a stern talking to

Mikasa: your an idiot if you don’t think I won’t light her house on fire

Armin entered 104 ain’t no more

Armin: her dads in there tho :(

Mikasa: end the bloodline

Armin: but I’m in here :(((

Mikasa: a small price to pay for salvation

Jean: why are you in there?

Armin: i followed her home after we suspected her of inviting shadis

Armin: I’d like to point out it’s still not confirmed that she did

Jean: eyyyy Mr leonhardt invited me in for tea!

Jean: yo armin whats up with his leg

Armin: no idea, probably fell down the stairs or something

Jean: i love old people

Armin: he’s only like 50

Sasha: sooo... is Annie awake or?

Ymir: we’ve been sitting outside for an hour now... still haven’t given her that stern talking to

Jean: mr leonhardt says she’s hibernating

Jean: and that she just falls asleep for like days on end sometimes

Historia: I think, I’m not a doctor so not 100% sure, but thats a coma...

Armin: -,(=/),-

Annie entered 104 ain’t no more

Annie: hello fellow teens

Eren: bitch

Ymir: bitch

Historia: bitch

Sasha: jerk

Connie: bitch

Marco: bitch

Bertolt: bitch

Mikasa: Mega bitch

Reiner entered 104 ain’t no more

Reiner: bitch (but smaller bc we’re still friends right?)

Annie: now now, hold on, Annie’s still asleep, I’m her dad

Marco: sorry mr leonhardt

Annie: it’s all good son

Jean: please sir, don’t say that with Annie’s user... your so friendly and it’s weird

Annie: I just came to get a point across

Annie: 1)my daughter was just standing up for what she believed in, I’m sure she feels bad about it

Annie: 2)mikasa dear, from what I’ve heard from armin you didn’t want people drinking either, so don’t be so quick to judge Annie 

Mikasa: yeah, but I still brought rum bc I’m not a dumbass and have some social standards.

Connie: do you tho??

Annie: anyways, Annie did what she thought was right and even if all you teens hate her for it, she still has me, a loving father.

Mikasa: ok crap that was too sweet I forgive her Only! oNLY bc ur a nice old man

Annie: that you.

Ymir: shit now I have to forgive her too I guess

Bertolt: I think I speak for everyone when I say we forgive Annie

Sash: yeah...

Connie: idk I still hate her, her dads cool tho

Sasha: sorry sir, he has brain damage, Shadis headbutts him alot...

Annie: so long as you all get along now

Jean: you’re the best dad anyone could ask for I think

Eren: my dad is shit.

Mikasa: my dad is dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> read the lost girls manga, you’ll understand.
> 
> -  
> -
> 
> Also Annie’s dad is written as a nice wholesome man bc honestly I required a wholesome character


	9. Get the (Sunny) D

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once there were three nations, Sunny D, Kool-aid, and milk. And all was peaceful until Eren started yelling at Jean damnit this is why we can’t have nice things.

Jean entered 104 ain’t no more

Jean: sunny D tastes so frickin good

Eren entered 104 ain’t no more

Eren: get your vitamins the way everyone else does prick

Eren: the sun

Jean: -ny D

Eren: no the big ball of fire in the sky

Jean: Eren I had no clue you loved sunny D so much

Eren: the D stands for dick

Jean: bold of you to assume that i cannot live off the vitamins contained in such a glorious drink

Eren: you’re so full of it

Jean: full of sunny D? Yes of course

Eren: keep talking and I break into your house and mix water with all your sunny D

Jean: mixing what makes up all life of earth with vitamin D? Challenge accepted.

Eren: no

Jean: mixing~

Eren: don’t

Jean: mmm

Jean: d e l i c i o u s

Eren: I’ll steal your spleen

Jean: can’t it’s stronger thanks to the sunny D

Marco entered 104 ain’t no more

Eren: your sunny D ain’t shit

Marco left the chat

Jean: wait marco come back

Marco entered 104 ain’t no more

Marco: wHYyY

Marco: when the chat is always spamming its always you two

Marco: please give me sweet release

Marco: mikasa admin kick me

Historia entered 104 ain’t no more

Marco: yes! Historia please save me!

Historia: did someone mention sunny D?????

[user Marco has been removed from the chat due to a deactivated account]

Historia: I’m on a plane right now and guess what I have!!!

Jean: sUnnY D???

Historia: hell yeah!!!!

Eren: I’ve literally never seen Sunny D for sale in an airport, how did you get it in

Historia: eren honey, I’m rich, I could smuggle sunny D onto one of NASA’s satellites if I wanted to

Jean: too much power

Historia: non, the right amount of power

Jean: this is true

Eren: it’s really not

Eren: isn’t that like bad for the economy tho or like environment?

Historia: what’s the worst that could happen?

Connie entered 104 ain’t no more

Connie: she could pour it in the water and it could like mutate fish

Eren: sunny D isn’t radioactive...

Eren: how would it mutate the fish

Jean: they’d grow arms and legs and a real stomach so they can drink it

Jean: they’re super jealous trust me

Eren: idk why you even like that crap, kool-aid is better

Jean: ???no???

Eren:???yes???

Eren: armin back me up on this one

Armin entered 104 ain’t no more

Armin: your both idiots drink milk bois

Eren: no

Jean: I’m lactose intolerant 

Mikasa entered 104 ain’t no more

Mikasa: same, armin ur alone on this

Mikasa: also, sunny D is pretty good

Jean: mmmmm! Seeeee

Historia: our ranks grow

Ymir entered 104 ain’t no more

Ymir: aight, I’m fighting the Kool-aid war against my gf

Connie: if we’re picking teams I’m going kool-aid it has so many flavours

Mikasa: you can’t even taste the difference

Annie entered 104 ain’t no more

Annie: Annie’s father here, I support team milk

Annie: it’s good for your bones

Reiner entered 104 ain’t no more

Reiner: milk is top tier, how do you think I got so buff

Armin: see it’s good for you, and I’m not saying we’re exclusive to cows milk, almond milk counts too

Mikasa: almond milk is shit

Mikasa: it doesn’t taste like almonds

Mikasa: and it doesn’t taste like milk

Jean: facts

Eren: kool-aid is still the best

Jean: shut your whore mouth

Mikasa: teach him a lesson

Bertolt entered 104 ain’t no more

Bertolt: team milk

Mikasa: yes I’m sure you need strong bones to support your lumbering body

Jean: without a propped frame he’d just collapse in the wind

Connie: but does Sunny D come in blue?

Historia: uhh??? Yeah??

Eren: looks like drain cleaner...

Connie: thats the shit heather drank

Jean: who the hell is heather?

Annie: I think he means from the movie Heathers

Connie: there’s a movie??? Sasha and I saw the musical

Annie: there’s a musical? They really think of everything now’a’days

Jean: is that still you mr leonhardt or is that annie, i can’t tell

Annie: it’s me

Jean: thats... thats not an answer

Eren: I hope you drink ur drain fluid and die

Mikasa: i hope you get diabetes from your over sugared drink

Armin: actually sunny d has more sugar than kool-aid

Armin: drink milk even less sugar

Sasha entered 104 ain’t no more

Sasha: milk is the best, you can get it straight from the cow

Connie: oh yeah, she’s right I’m switching teams

Eren: what, you were like the only other kool-aider

Ymir: welll excuuuse me

Eren: you haven’t done anything

Ymir: I’m joining team sunny d

Historia: yay!

Jean: Eren your team has left you, drop down and worship the D

Eren: not when you put it like that horse head

Eren: screw this, I’m right all of you are just cowards

Reiner: so wait, why not join team milk?

Eren: bc milk is shit

Eren: sunny d is shit

Eren: you know what your opinion is?

Armin: 100% right, thats what it is

Eren: wrong, it’s shit

Sasha: can we kick him for strong language?

Annie: I’m all for that

Jean: seriously, is that you mr leonhardt?

Mikasa: say you’re good byes eren

Eren: this isn’t survivor, you can’t just kick me because you’re wrong

Mikasa kicked Eren from the chat

Mikasa: i’m starting to mildly dislike him

Armin: yeah same

Jean: so... wanna have a sunny D and chocolate milk party?

Armin: my team agrees to this

Jean: see you guys at 4 then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mod is team Milk, I would live off strawberry milk if I could.


	10. Steal yo girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stupid rich people

Historia entered 104 ain’t no more

Historia: hey, my friends, my buds, my pals, who wants to go to paris

Jean entered 104 ain’t no more

Jean: sure...

Eren entered 104 ain’t no more

Eren: hell yeah

Jean: the way you phrased it tho I feel like there are strings attached...

Historia: I’ll fill you in when we get a bigger party

Eren: so it’s for a party

Historia: something like that

Annie entered 104 ain’t no more

Annie: I’m down, Armin also says yeah

Armin entered 104 ain’t no more

Armin: paris sounds great

Armin: i feel bad tho, plane tickets are expensive...

Historia: plane tickets?

Historia: i own a private jet

Jean: ok but spill why so urgent?

Historia: at least two more people yeah?

Mikasa entered 104 ain’t no more

Mikasa: paris sounds lovely

Reiner entered 104 ain’t no more

Reiner: thank heavens I got here before Ymir, I’m in

Eren: wait? So your girlfriend Ymir isn’t coming??

Historia: thats actually what this is about

Historia: y’see I kinda totally lost her in paris and then forgot her

Jean: how do you forget your girlfriend in a completely different country...

Historia: you wouldn’t understand, you have no money and are single

Jean: wrong

Eren: on which part

Jean: I’ve been sworn to secrecy

Eren: anyways, when do we leave?

Historia: pack your bags, my chauffeur is on his way to pick you all up

Reiner: i never gave you my address tho

Historia: that’s a you problem, bc he’s already on his way to your house

Reiner: but how does he know where i live

Historia: you bitching on here about how I know where all of you live doesn’t sound like packing, mush

Armin: starting to fear this won’t be a fun trip

Historia: MUSH

Armin left the chat

Eren left the chat

Annie left the chat

Mikasa left the chat

Jean left the chat

Reiner left the chat

Historia left the chat

Connie entered 104 ain’t no more

Connie: darn, I’m guessing you guys are already on ur way to paris?

Historia entered 104 ain’t no more

Historia: we’re in paris

Connie: well did you find Ymir?

Historia: no.

Connie: did anyone else find ymir

Historia: idk

Connie: aren’t you guys with eachother

Historia: i lost them

Bertolt entered 104 ain’t no more

Bertolt: NO I STILL NEED TO REBECOME BESTIES WITH REINER

Bertolt: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

Bertolt: pick me up I can help you find them

Historia: i’m rich but my dad’ll still kill me if I keep buying jet fuel ok?

Bertolt: do none of them have like??? Roaming wifi stuff???

Jean entered 104 ain’t no more

Jean: i am here

Historia: did you find ymir

Jean: no

Jean: but I found a new love for cheese

Jean: and other baked goods

Historia: are you with anyone???

Jean: yeah mikasa

Historia: has she seen ymir????

Jean: lemme ask her

Jean: i lost mikasa

Bertolt: your stupidity makes me want to cry

Jean: oh and yeah, most of us do have roaming but like everyone is so busy looking around for ymir

Historia: you said you were tasting cheese?

Jean: yes bc what if ymir was here

Historia: REINER COME TO THE CHAT

Reiner entered 104 ain’t no more

Reiner: yes.

Reiner: i have not found ymir btw

Reiner: but I am with armin rn

Reiner: not romantically, but as two best buds in the heart of the city of love

Bertolt: i always wanted to visit paris with you :( as best buds

Reiner: i can’t do it anymore, i miss you man

Bertolt: I miss you too

Reiner: can we be best buds again?

Bertolt: gladly

Historia: thats g r e a t but where is my girlfriend?

Reiner: idk, armin lost his gf too so ur all in the same boat

Jean: paris really steals ya girl

Historia: what would you know about that?

Jean: I wasn’t supposed to say but since I lost her she’ll break my spine anyways so I’m kinda dating mikasa yeah?

Historia: w

Historia: whe

Historia: when

Reiner: when did you start dating???

Jean: idk

Historia: jean u better remember that shit or ur ass is dumped

Jean: there was no official date

Jean: we just became a couple like last week

Jean: idk when last week

Jean: ye

Jean: I was really not supposed to say anything tho

Mikasa entered 104 ain’t no more

Mikasa: no u were very much not supposed to say anything

Jean: hey babe~

Mikasa: anyways, I found Ymir and Annie

Historia: Yay, where?

Mikasa: catacombs, now all of us are lost

Reiner: so it’s just you, annie, and ymir and like a bunch if dead bodies?

Mikasa: i mean yeah

Reiner: in the dark

Mikasa: no, the sun got lost in here too and it’s actually really frickin bright

Mikasa: no shit it’s dark down here

Mikasa: btw most of these tunnels don’t get service so I might be blipping in and out

Mikasa left the chat

Jean: I like to think I’m making her a sweeter person

Historia: i like to think that all three girlfriends are going to die in the paris catacombs and its all my fault

Reiner: armin here, using reiners phone

Reiner: if I know annie, she will either find some way out, she is freakishly good at escaping dark tunnel places, or she will fall asleep and the other two will def die

Historia: thanks

Historia: you really contribute to the team

Reiner: i certainly do

Mikasa entered 104 ain’t no more

Mikasa: Armin of little faith

Mikasa: we got out of the catacombs

Historia: cool, where are you now

Mikasa: university

Historia: where

Mikasa: sorry, we might be here awhile, we climbed a ladder and there was a university class right above and nobody knew what to do so they invited us to sit down and enjoy

Mikasa: i don’t speak french

Historia: but your safe?

Mikasa: yeah

Mikasa: annie fell asleep, armin how do I wake her

Reiner: you don’t

Mikasa: well we’ll need to get moving so I kinda have to

Reiner: :0 yeah ur stuck

Mikasa: useless

Ymir entered 104 ain’t no more

Ymir: my bb thank you so much for getting me help

Ymir: you are a goddess, wanna get married after I’m done this university class in french that I guess I have to sit through?

Historia: ur sweet

Ymir: love u babe

Historia: love you too Ymir

Jean: so all’s well that ends well?

Bertolt: you guys are forgetting someone

Connie: lol even I know that

Jean: ????

Mikasa: ??????

Reiner: ???? (Armin)

Reiner: ???? (It’s really me now)

Ymir: ????

Bertolt: Eren?

Mikas: shit

Eren entered 104 ain’t no more

Eren: help i ended up in moskau and now I’m lost

Historia: i have a private jet how were you sent somewhere completely different, it’s not like you took the wrong plane

Eren: блин не знаю

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this was less funny???? Idk, i didn’t laugh. Straight face gang
> 
> Also the Russian is google translated so y’know it’s probably not right


	11. Hot potato

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A plan is made and maybe they go through with it? I have no idea.

Jean entered 104 ain’t no more

Jean: so how do we get Eren back?

Historia entered 104 ain’t no more

Historia: i’m not supposed to got to russia, dads rules

Jean: ok but this is kinda your fault

Historia: are you grateful or not that you got to go to paris france?

Jean: mMmm

Jean: thats guilt tripping

Historia: you tried doing it first

Jean: thats fair

Jean: anyone else have any ideas

Armin entered 104 ain’t no more

Armin: my parents built a plane so I’m going to fly there and pick him up

Historia: do you even have a pilot license?

Armin: no but how hard can it be

Historia: you’re flying all the way to russia...

Historia: you’ll get arrested...

Armin: by what? The sky police

Armin: they can arrest me when they get a plane

Jean: they have helicopters you know.

Armin: and i have a plane

Armin: what’s your point

Jean: this is highly illegal

Armind: ik, but like eren is stuck in russia

Eren entered 104 ain’t no more

Eren: i’m actually doing ok btw

Eren: i ran into this old lady and apparently my brothers mom is from Moscow

Eren: anyways, my step grandma is takin me in for now

Eren: she mistook me for my dad

Eren: i sense alot of pierogi coming my way

Armin: so do I need to fly my plane or not?

Eren: it’s all good, she’s calling zeke 

Eren: it’s not all good, she called zeke

Armin: ?

Eren: zeke laughed and said we can’t afford a plane ticket from russia back to home so i’m stuck here.

Eren: i want to die

Eren: but at least the food is amazing

Jean: but how do you plan to getting home

Eren: armins plane idea sounded good

Historia: you’re literally both going to die

Armin: at least we go down as buds

Eren: it’s the only way

Historia: btw when did you lose mikasa to jean?

Eren: i’ve done what now

Jean: i’m outie bye

Jean left the chat

Eren: i’m sorry what

Historia: you are aware that jean and mikasa started dating right...?

Eren: nO

Armin: -,(=/),-

Eren: when and how

Historia: he said like a week ago or something i don’t remember

Armin: i mean its unimportant right now can we just get to helping eren escape the potato filled country

Historia: potato?

Armin: you do know thats what vodka is made out of right?

Armin: ok well technically it’s different grains that make vodka like rice and stuff i guess but you can use potatoes bc its funny

Historia: never thought I’d learn so much today

Eren: i wish i didn’t learn anything new today (;-;)

Armin: so plane works?

Historia: please don’t try it

Eren: please try it

Historia: you’re both gonna die

Eren: if its my time its my time

Armin: change of plans my grandpa is flying the plane

Eren: abort abort

Eren: full offence but your grandpa is super old dude

Armin: hey he can still fly a plane

Eren: with me in it too???

Armin: at least he’s “legally aloud” to fly a plane, bc apparently that’s important

Historia: yes it is.

Eren: legalities are dumb only idiots care

Historia: and rich people

Eren: then pick me up

Eren: karen pick me up

Eren: *to the beat of a drum* pick me up mom, pick me up, pick me up karen

Historia: fine but you have to take the yacht.

Eren: you think I would complain? Lol

Eren: hook me up with this yacht yo 

Historia: btw they only serve sea food

Eren: noooOoOo I’m allergic to shellfish >:(

Sasha joined 104 ain’t no more

Sasha: man I wish I was stranded in russia so i could go on a yacht and eat shellfish

Eren: gross

Sasha: you don’t even know what they taste like

Eren: yes i do, i’ve had it before

Sasha: oh you mean that time you said your mouth stings and we had to send you to the hospital, guess what, shellfish don’t sting your mouth

Armin: they don’t...?

Historia: holy shit no

Armin: am i allergic to shellfish

Historia: ok two people not to have over to shellfish rich people parties

Armin: nooo i still enjoy them

Historia: armin, since you are a valued member of the blondie squad, and I am your queen, i forbid you from eating shellfish

Armin: i’m going to the store and buying a crab

Historia: nO

Armin: I’m gonna do it

Armin: bye!

Armin left the chat

Sasha: wait I want some!!!!

Sasha left the chat

Historia: NOOOO

Historia left the chat

Eren: guys I’m still stuck here

Eren: when is the yacht coming...

Eren: historia?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter sorry, was out of things to add lol. What are yall allergic to? I’m allergic to basically everything. :)
> 
>  
> 
> But i eat the stuff anyways


	12. Sorry, you’ve got the wrong person

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nope. Try again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: includes springles which I didn’t tage at first? Oops my bad

Ymir entered 104 ain’t no more

Ymir: aight, time for us strong people in their relationships to go on one big boys night out

Mikasa entered 104 ain’t no more

Mikasa: sounds fun. Paintball?

Ymir: and more

Annie entered 104 ain’t no more

Annie: ok but won’t it just be the three of us... and we’re all girls so?

Connie entered 104 ain’t no more

Connie: nope! I’m here too

Ymir: pshhhhffff???

Connie: I’m with sasha

Ymir: ah.

Mikasa: makes sense

Annie: match made in heaven

Mikasa: how would you know

Annie: You’d be surprised how many times my soul has been yeeted from my body

Connie: anyways. Paintball!

Annie: are we going as a team?

Ymir: I mean yeah, lets destroy some little kids

Mikasa: i mean most of the people there will be adults

Ymir: no more chatter, I’m picking you guys up. 

Ymir left the chat

Mikasa left the chat

Connie left the chat

Annie left the chat

Armin entered 104 ain’t no more

Armin: they’ve been gone for afew hours...

Sasha entered 104 ain’t no more

Sasha: yeah... i wonder what happened

Eren entered 104 ain’t no more

Eren: mika is never really out this late

Jean entered 104 ain’t no more

Jean: she’s not your girlfriend dude...

Eren: you don’t know anything

Jean: she literally told me you said you hate her last week!

Eren: i was going through some stuff!!!

Jean: YOU CAN’T JUST SAY THAT TO A GIRL YOU INSENSITIVE SHIT

Eren: go drink your sunny D loser

Historia entered 104 ain’t no more

Historia: should I be worried about ymir? I mean normally she disappears for way longer

Sasha: and she just doesn’t tell you?

Historia: uh yeah?

Armin: oh noooOoo what if they broke the lawwww

Historia: Ymir? Probably. Connie? By accident. Annie? Uhhh. Mikasa? Never.

Jean: hell yeah

Armin: should I be concerned about what you guys think of annie

Historia: never forget the ruined party

Jean: Rip in peace

Sasha: yes rest in pepperoni 

Eren: F

Armin: c’mon guys I thought we were done with this

Armin: plus we gotta find them

Historia: aight, femme squad roll out

Jean: do we have to be called that...?

Historia: yes

Marco entered 104 ain’t no more

Marco: so you guys find anything yet?

Jean: no

Historia: yes

Jean: mikasa wouldn’t do this

Historia: but ymir would

Marco: what happened?

Eren: eggs

Eren: lots of eggs

Eren: its like someone squeezed a chicken

Armin: not how chickens work but go off

Marco: they egged someones house?

Jean: no... they just built an ominous egg pyramid in-front of the paintball place

Marco: you can do that

Jean: i assume its as hard as making a house of cards? Maybe easier

Historia: anyways its a clue

Jean: this gives us nothing

Sasha: no it does, connie and I love visiting that one breakfast place that has infinite eggs on sundays

Jean: why

Eren: so we should check there?

Sasha: yes, no doubt they went there to get this many eggs

Marco: tell me what you guys find I’m getting really invested into this

Historia: its actually really cute :3

Historia: we went to the egg place and apparently Annie drew a big crystal on one of the place mats

Marco: significance?

Armin: on our first date annie and I visited one of the salt mines here in our country

Jean: you two are the weirdest couple wth

Armin: says the one possibly getting into a threesome with eren

Jean: oh hell no

Eren: why????!?

Armin: just saying -,(=/),-

Marco: anyways, where to next???

Historia: the tour place where Armin and Annie booked their salty date

Armin: i remember it like it was yesterday

Historia: aight, we’re here

Historia: ok this one actually has to do with me

Historia: all of the brochures for the castle tours are gone! Especially the forest ones!

Historia: ymir and I have visited almost every castle here and since there’s a forest in the middle of the city that must be it!

Marco: ok so basically jean/eren is next!

Marco: which is it???

Armin: its swim trunks

Armin: we found swim trunks.

Armin: the only place to go now is the school swimming pool...

Eren: those trunks were clearly meant for me

Jean: lies

Jean: mikasa put them there for me

Marco: guys?? Its been awhile. What happened

Armin: ...

Jean: they were not my swim trunks...

Marco: oh no...

Eren: they weren’t mine either....

Marco: did you pick up some random persons swim trunks

Armin: no... its worse

Armin: remember how we told you awhile back that levi is the swim team captain.

Armin: the trunks were his.

Armin: he thought we stole them

Armin: now we’re cleaning the pool.

Eren: see you in afew days

Jean: yep...

Marco: oh no! Did historia and sasha have to join you guys???

Sasha: lmao no, rip to them but I’m different

Historia: still no sign of the butch squad tho

Mikasa entered 104 ain’t no more

Mikasa: wait whats going on?

Connie entered 104 ain’t no more

Annie entered 104 ain’t no more

Ymir entered 104 ain’t no more

Ymir: guys... we were still playing paint ball

Connie: i got wrecked btw

Sahsa: I’ll make soup and ull feel better

Connie: yeet

Annie: anyways, whats all this about?

Historia: wait the egg this wasn’t you?

Annie: no... but we saw the student teacher, i think their name is Hanji? With a bunch of egg cartons when we were going there...

Armin: what about the crystals on the menu at the breakfast place?

Connie: maybe it was the science teacher moblit? i’ve seen him there afew times and he’s always drawing rocks.

Historia: on the brochures...

Mikasa: could’ve been the vice principal Erwin. When we were going to pick up annie I saw him running off with a bunch of those

Eren: so the swim trunks...

Jean: they really were levis...

Eren: what were they doing in the bush

Jean: yeah he’s a really tidy guy...

Connie: oh yeah, he kept yelling at me so I stole them and threw them in the forest

Connie: so I guess that actually was put there by one of us

Ymir: did you guys just send yourself on a goose chase that made you clean up after Connie?

Armin: well apparently.

Eren: this sucks alot

Jean: yeah.

Historia: we still haven’t figured out who Mikasa is 100% dating tho

Mikasa left the chat

Annie: bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So who would we prefer mikasa to be with? Eren or Jean.   
> In my opinion i prefer jeankasa bc he really cares but y’know I’m biased bc I’ve always disliked eren.


	13. Older brothers have bad interests

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some idiot invited Zeke and he doesn’t shut up

Reiner entered 104 ain’t no more

Reiner: should I invite zeke?

Reiner: i think i should...

Bertolt entered 104 ain’t no more

Bertolt: i mean... you could...

Reiner: I’m not getting an objections...

Bertolt: no you’re not...

Reiner added Zeke to the chat

Zeke entered 104 ain’t no more

Zeke: finally you have no idea how long I’ve been trying to get into this chat

Bertolt: feeling like this was a mistake

Zeke: holy shit lmao who stabbed eren

Jean entered 104 ain’t no more

Jean: he hospitalized me

Zeke: shit so you stabbed him lol

Jean: no, he pushed me off a balcony

Zeke: so who stabbed him

Eren entered 104 ain’t no more 

Eren: mikasa stabbed me.

Eren: also can you like??? Not be in this chat

Eren: nobody likes you

Reiner: lies

Zeke: I seriously have more friends than you

Eren: lies

Bertolt: so nobody going to mention that mikasa stabbed eren for hospitalizing jean?

Reiner: nobody cares

Jean: yeah frankly this is more interesting

Jean: plus I think this means my relationship with eren is improving

Bertolt: bitch where

Zeke: hey Erens done worse

Reiner: everything about eren concerns me. Like dude we’re bros and I’m worried about your mental health

Eren: my mental health is peak

Zeke: lmao nope

Eren: shut up

Zeke: on a scale of fucks to survive and hates the irish Eren is like 300 squares past hates the irish

Jean: Eren why do you hate the irish?

Eren: wth I don’t hate the irish

Bertolt: nono I think this is one of those graph memes right?

Zeke: for kids younger than me you all have no culture. Also Jean you’re in the middle of fucks to survive and hates the irish

Jean: w h y

Zeke: your pretty weak bro

Jean: why are you suddenly attacking me???

Zeke: needing your girlfriend to protect you? Tsk tsk

Jean: what do you live off the internet or something get a life

Zeke: I used to have a life. Alas someone burnt all my stuff in a great car fire

Reiner: you mean when Ymir threw the molotov into erens car and your stuff was in there...?

Reiner: what was that stuff anyways

Zeke: you know classic teen stuff

Reiner: classic teen stuff is either drugs or sports so...

Zeke: it was a shit ton of clay dust

Jean: w... what?

Zeke: from like sculpting

Zeke: you realize I’m doing a bunch of fine arts stuff right. I make giant monster statues.

Jean: no, I didn’t even know anything about you up until now

Zeke: nobody talked about me in here?

Bertolt: well its not like you have much to do with this chat...

Reiner: yeah... i mean we can’t spend all our time talking about you...

Zeke: but nothing was said?

Eren: yeah bc you suck eggs

Zeke: so do you guys like anime?

Bertolt: zeke sir we’ve been keeping up on your anime lists i swear

Bertolt: its true we watch them together 

Zeke: and the others here?

Jean: anime is kinda weird... i like regular cartoons

Zeke: anime is not cartoons but go off I guess 

Zeke: weird flex but ok

Jean: I’ve seen some weird clips from some anime so like I’m good...

Zeke: if you think all anime is porn I will chain you up in my basement

Jean: what

Jean: like I mean, all the stuff I’ve seen was porn,,,

Zeke: jojo’s bizarre adventures isn’t porn you single celled blade of grass

Eren: thats debatable.

Eren: if you’re a pedo part 3 has that one scene with the girl and part 4 with the boy. Plus part 4 is based around a hand fetish... part six literally opens with the main character master bating in jail

Zeke: you shut your whore mouth

Zeke: the only kinda porn jjba is, is good story porn

Jean: i hate this conversation with every fibre of my being.

Zeke: thats not alot of fibre you single celled blade of grass

Zeke: also what about the anime angel beats??? If you didn’t cry ur a slut

Reiner: can you stop throwing around random insults. I have no clue what you’re saying

Eren: and part 8 is so questionable

Zeke: shut up. Josk8 is a great guy

Eren: part six sUcKeD 

Zeke: I’m pulling out the knife mikasa stabbed you with, hope you bleed out

Eren: you can’t deny that jolyne sucks,,,

Zeke: she lit herself on fire you dumb slut

Jean: see this is why I don’t watch anime. This is just confusing

Eren: thats from the mangaaa jean

Zeke: dumb single celled blade of grass

Jean: why do you keep calling me that

Bertolt: ^^in truth tho angel beats made me cry for a good week

Zeke: your experiences are universal

Reiner: true

Eren: stop watching shit anime

Zeke: says the guy who watched naruto 

Eren: naruto is great

Zeke: ah yes its so original. Thats why the sequel series is boruto 

Zeke: change the first two letters of his name and you’re set right.

Zeke: hey, my underlings, have you been making sure annie was watching these anime too?

Reiner: she just falls asleep...

Bertolt: it’s a lost cause...

Annie entered 104 ain’t no more 

Zeke: ah good ur here

Zeke: watch jojos

Annie: no

Zeke: get over ur prejudices, anime is good

Annie: yeah ik but I have my own anime that I watch

Zeke: ????you actually watch shows by ur self??? U have actual interests???

Annie: not really, but I did watch beelzebub 

Zeke: i

Zeke: is that bc hilda looks exactly like you...

Annie: i never noticed that

Annie: maybe?

Zeke: please at least try black butlerrr 

Annie: no

Jean: wait! I’ve seen pokemon thats an anime, and sword art online

Zeke: those don’t count ugh.

Zeke: thats it pleebs, I’m leaving. I will be back tho

Zeke: ciao 

Zeke left the chat

Jean: that guy sucks

Eren: agreed.

Bertolt: oh hey ur right ur relationship has improved!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the harsh swear in this one. I’ve had a headache all day and I was listening to Abba while writing the whole thing and my Abba music on my phone is broken and sometimes gets stuck on a loop on a single note in a song so I live in constant fear while listening to their sweet heavenly voices. So anyways I put some harsh swears in bc i could. Also this chapter is all over the place lol.


	14. Cat

Pt14

Marco entered 104 ain’t no more 

Marco: ugggg

Marco: mmmhnnmmhn

Marco: guuUuUuuUuUuyS

Jean entered 104 ain’t no more

Jean: wassup?

Marco: someone stole my cAt

Jean: the highest of theft

Marco: who even does that?

Marco: anyways I miss peanut butter :( 

Marco: he was such a good cat

Jean: was this like a break in or did someone you know steal your cat?

Marco: idk he was just gone one day

Jean: did he maybe just wander off

Marco: jean he’s an indoor cat, he stays inside

Jean: yeah but maybe he just got out

Annie entered 104 ain’t no more 

Annie: I want to help you find your cat

Marco: ok... but why you?

Annie: cats are so soft

Annie: cats are 100 times better than people.

Jean: I don’t disagree with you but ok

Jean: I’m more of a small dog person personally 

Mikasa entered 104 ain’t no more 

Mikasa: big dogs

Mikasa: big big dogs

Mikasa: big dogs are the best

Eren entered 104 ain’t no more 

Eren: yeah boy cats are shit

Mikasa: no cats are still good...

Eren: small dogs are shit

Mikasa: a good boy is a good boy

Jean: hell yeah!

Annie: ok but cats are adorable and dogs just kinda jump on you its annoying

Armin entered 104 ain’t no more 

Armin: dogs scare me °~°

Jean: even small dogs?

Armin: yeah they bite hard...

Jean: so do cats?

Armin: yeah, spiders dont bite tho

Mikasa: cool so armin you have a bad taste in pets and girlfriends ok.

Annie: screw you

Annie: anyways, marco lets go find your cat.

Annie left the chat

Marco: she’s really getting into finding peanut butter... he’s such a soft baby...

Marco left the chat

Jean: armin why do you like spiders?? They could bite you and you die? And look at all those eyes

Armin: ok firstly pet spiders are safe

Armin: secondly they’re baby

Jean: nO

Eren: let him enjoy things jean

Mikasa: no

Mikasa: spiders are bad

Mikasa: they need to learn when to disappear

Mikasa: before I make them disappear

Jean: yeah

Jean: once i was taking some pictures outside and I saw what i thought was an old spider web

Jean: i was gonna put some berries ontop of it bc it was so thicc they would hold but the web would catch in the picture so i get this cool image of floating berries

Jean: well that was the plan

Jean: then i saw a spider bigger than my thumb crawling around right behind the web.

Jean: long story short i saw the spider and threw berries at it bc screw that

Mikasa: i’d kill that shit so fast

Mikasa: sonic aint got shit on me

Armin: but flufi boi

Mikasa: no

Mikasa: the most massive of no

Eren: yeah spiders suck

Eren: once i was on this trip with floch and he killed a really fat spider in the tent...

Eren: it was pregnant.

Eren: so anyways we burnt the tent and started a huge fire by accident.

Eren: and thats how floch ended up in jail.

Armin: askdjishd thats how that happened 

Armin: I THOUGHT HE SHOP LIFTED

Mikasa: if that was it most of us in this chat would be in jail.

Mikasa: I’ve seen ymir shoplift and shove the stuff down other peoples pants so they get blamed 

Jean: why are we friends with her again?

Armin: cattle goddess is her girlfriend

Jean: right.

Jean: speaking of cattle goddess does she actually like cows?

Armin: good question.

Armin: I think she might?

Armin: I’ve seen her extensive list of pets it would be weird if cow wasnt one

Eren: mika thots on horsess?

Mikasa: majestic and beautiful 

Mikasa: inside and out

Eren: damnit

Jean: aw

Armin: its widely agreed that jeans spirit animal is a horse right? And Historia’s is a cow?

Mikasa: basically yeah

Eren: good enough

Jean: eren is probably a wolverine, loud, scary, and really frickin violent

Eren: jean’s is a horse bc he’s ugly

Mikasa: are you shitting me eren

Eren: and mikasa is a panther bc she’s quiet and strong and could kill me, i love you <3

Mikasa: (,-°^°),-~/3-,(°~°-,)

Mikasa: thats me ripping apart the heart you sent

Jean: mmm... 

Jean: I disagree with you eren. Mikasa is a lioness

Jean: strong powerful and independent

Armin: lmao he thinks she’s independent 

Jean: armin is a turtle bc he’ll choke on a plastic straw 

Armin: (0_0)!

Mikasa: jean’s right. I’m a lioness, i do everything around here for you lazy guys

Jean: its true and she knows it

Eren: i do my own stuff

Mikasa: i did your laundry for you till you were 15 years old

Eren: so??? I do it now

Mikasa: s t i l l not b y yourself

Mikasa: you himbo

Armin: marco you found your cat yet???

Marco entered 104 ain’t no more

Marco: i gave up awhile ago... but i think annie’s still looking

Marco: she’s so intent to find and pet him...

Marco: i mean he’ll come back right? He cant hunt and i have his food so???

Armin: i guess??? If he isn’t dead or something?????

Marco: ok well anyways, I’m gonna go cry myself to sleep

Marco left the chat

Jean: armin you soaking wet blanket what the fuck

Armin: its best not to get your hopes up

Eren: this just took a sudden turn for the smad

Eren: ***sad

Mikasa: don’t fuse words, I’m already manifesting in your house to kill you

Eren: you live ne x t do or t o me

Mikasa: even easier to crawl thru ur window

Armin: well I hope annie finds the cat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This I swear is the last time I try to post this chapter i think the problem was with a set of characters I was using (typing characters,, these two bitches in specific < this and /) when put next to each there deleted the end of the chapter. Its 1:11 i spent like half an hour figuring out whats wrong its a school night i have frickin school so thats why i cant update crap im gonna get like five hours of sleep and then die bc school *distant crying* please dont be broke chapter plz


	15. Floch is a piece of sh-

Reiner entered 104 ain’t no more 

Reiner: sssssuuhh manz

Bertolt entered 104 ain’t no more 

Bertolt: Are you okay?

Eren entered 104 ain’t no more 

Eren: bitch ass who writes “okay”?

Bertolt: Me.

Eren: ass hole

Bertolt: you’re being meaner than usual.

Eren: yeah cuz f*ck you i miss mikasa

Reiner: woah woaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Reiner: man you said you hated her

Eren: hate just means love man

Reiner: tru dat

Bertolt: seriously are you guys ok?

Armin entered 104 ain’t no more 

Armin: they are dr u n k

Bertolt: yikes

Jean entered 104 ain’t no more

Jean: do they drink together often?

Armin: no idea

Bertolt: all the time

Armin: what? How would you know

Bertolt: reiner’s my bestie of course I know.

Armin: and Eren isn’t mine???

Eren: f*cj you for hanging kut with annie all the time

Eren: flocj is my new best friend

Eren added Floch to the chat

Floch entered 104 ain’t no more

Floch: wow whats this?

Jean: oh nooo not this guy he’s such an ass

Floch: I can read, you think you’re so great you prick

Jean: literally s h u t UP

Armin: e... eren’s not my best friend anymore...

Floch: hehehehe *rock on sign*

Jean: you did not just use an asterisk in a chat

Floch: f*ck yeah I did

Bertolt: I’m going to kill you myself you tiny weasle man

Floch: you don’t even know what I look like

Bertolt: WE’RE ON THE BASKETBALL TEAM TOGETHER

Floch: no we aren’t

Bertolt: OH MY GOSH

Bertolt left the chat

Zeke entered 104 ain’t no more 

Zeke: damn bro you have shit taste in friends

Zeke: I can say that now that you told Armin, my blonde bud here, they you boutta head out

Eren: shut Up

Eren: you’re like if someone killed a mongoose and put it on a bike helmet

Armin: what does that even mean

Reiner: it’s super insightful dude

Zeke: y’ain’t

Jean: have I ever told you how everything you say makes me want to die in a way?

Zeke: a special bond

Jean: literally

Floch: rad, Eren gave me admin privi

Jean: Eren I want you to know Mikasa and I will live a happy life knowing that we buried your body where no one will find you

Eren: eat corn dogs shit head

Eren: fight a black bear

Reiner: putting arms on chairs is just chairs for your arms

Zeke: will smith? Niceee

Reiner: w

Reiner: no i just came up with that

Reiner: i swear

Zeke: will smith says otherwise

Zeke: his blue genie ass wishin you to check his tik tok

Reiner: who the hell has tik tok????

Armin: either he’s sobered up or he’s more rational drunk 

Zeke: uncultured swine children

Zeke: lord of the flies lookin

Zeke: nyquil drinkin

Zeke: horsefaced 

Jean: is this about reiner or me

Zeke: it about Floch

Zeke: pompus red haired zit lookin ass

Zeke: bitch

Floch: Glad I got such a big welcome

Armin: thats it

Armin: hacker mode armin active

Armin: i may nolonger have admin priv but screw this bitch

Floch: if you kick me I’ll steal yo girl

Floch: or guy I ain’t judgin

Armin: 1) I have a girl 2) she will kick your ass

Reiner: I mean... if she’s not alseep

Armin: why can’t you let me win something

Armin: even an internet fight with a lil bitch boy

Reiner: i mean just sayin

Reiner: not like he can actually steal yo girl

Reiner: she’s kinda a bitch

Annie added Hitch to the chat

Hitch entered 104 ain’t no more 

Hitch: I’m here

Hitch: it’s clear

Hitch: that Annie has social interaction fear

Annie entered the chat

Annie: never use my phone again

Hitch: I don’t see you removing me

Floch: did you ladies just invade our guy time

Hitch: yep! Now go shove it carrot top

Floch: my hair is auburn you bimbo

Hitch: bimbo and proud, at least I can get a bitch

Floch: I though you were with that Marlow guy

Hitch: if I wasn’t I could get all the guys and gals

Armin: we need to stop adding people

Zeke: nono, this. This is good.

Zeke: have you guys seen any pictures of baby yoda yet?

Æįł°ė kicked Floch from the chat

Armin: yeah. You’ve got a point

Hitch: aw... so do I have to leave?

Zeke: nah. Ur cool.

Hitch: eyyyy

Eren left the chat

Bertolt: cool his phone finally shut itself off. I think he passed out awhile ago.

Reiner: do you ever feeeweeel like a plastic bag

Zeke: floatin thru tha wind

Hitch: like a rainbow~

Annie: none of you have ever heard that song have you

Hitch: and you have?

Annie: fair point.

Annie left the chat

Armin left the chat

Zeke: not even a good bye from my coconut boy. :’(

Reiner: let it go. He’ll join us soon...

Zeke: yes...

Bertolt: is he joining the titan club or smthn?

Zeke: no this is far more exclusive... you’ll see...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha. Two month hiatus... had to wait for my mental health to plummet before staying up till 1 am again and writing crack lol.


	16. Blondie Squad

Marco entered 104 ain’t no more 

Marco: so are we really not gonna point out that Armin’s never seen the ocean?

Hitch entered 104 ain’t no more 

Hitch: damn bitch suffer.

Reiner entered 104 ain’t no more 

Reiner: aight blondie squad we gotta fix this

Zeke entered 104 ain’t no more

Zeke: got it. Booking small green electric scooters

Historia entered 104 ain’t no more 

Historia: screw that its lambo time

Hitch: stop... stop flexing...

Historia: live for the flex

Reiner: how could you live without the flex

Historia: flex all day and night

Reiner: flex in between the fold of space and time

Historia: yeah flex your muscles boi

Reiner: flex ur monay gurl

Hitch: do I qualify for blondie squad?

Reiner: your hair is the colour of my carpet

Armin entered 104 ain’t no more 

Annie entered 104 ain’t no more 

Armin: blondie squad trip???

Annie: to the ocean???

Hitch: please i am d i r t y b l o n d e

Erwin entered the chat

Erwin: Blonde Squad!

Hitch: ..?

Hitch: how long has 

Hitch: who is this

Hitch: isnt this that vice principal dude

Erwin: with the big blonde eyebrows? Yes indeed I am, I myself taught armin how to care for these majestic eyebrows before me his eybrow game was weak and he was picked on but after i taught him important life lessons of eyebrow care hes grown into a man and gotten himself a blonde girlfriend!

Hitch: is this more of a flex

Marco: I feel more flexed on than you, my hair is black through and through

Erwin: while black hair is nice, you may not join the blondie squad!

Hitch: dirty blondes allowed?

Erwin: dirty blonde is just brown hair for fakers and imitators! Those who are too afraid to get serious and stop joking

Zeke: this guy is my king

Zeke: no idea who he is but I’m burying the shit out of him at the beach

Zeke: sand will fill his lungs and his nyquil fever dreams will be fulfilled

Marco: actually tho how long has he been in the chat?

Erwin: the entire time!

Reiner: without him my muscles would be much smaller and my hair less handsome

Historia: without him I wouldn’t be the owner of a multi-trillion dollar company and of a small country

Hitch: you own a country

Armin: and he’s right, without him I wouldn’t have a girlfriend

Annie: i mean... he didn’t do anything to help me but I guess we’re going to the beach because we’re all blonde so thats cool?

Zeke: and I just met him

Floch entered 104 ain’t no more 

Armin: I deleted you!

Floch: you can’t get rid of me

Floch: my best bud eren invited me back.

Armin: shut up

Zeke: shut up

Annie: shut up

Historia: shut up

Reiner: shut up

Erwin: SILENCE THOT

Floch: why does a vice principal talk like that 

[the user Floch ‘s account has been removed by Erwin]

Hitch: ..the power..

Annie: wow didn’t know I could respect someone.

Annie: so this is what it feels like.

Armin: we’re at the beach!!!!!

Reiner: I’m tossing Armin in!

Historia: throw me the FUCK in!

Erwin: I will throw you all the way to heaven and the angels will return you with a blonde kiss

Historia: amazing

Hitch: can I at least come to the beach on my own terms? What beach are you guys at?

Historia: the one I own

Hitch: sometimes I miss having friends other than the coma bitch and my adorable boyfriend.

Annie: suffer

Reiner: ERWIN JUST SAVED ARMIN FROM A JELLYFISH

Reiner: BRUH

Zeke: Erwin will never die

Reiner: FUCK NEVER MIND A SHARK JUST BIT HIS ARM OFF

Annie: yeah but it was so metal dude

Annie: the shark ate his arm and he screamed “it’s tasted human blood” and reached into its mouth and squeezed it’s heart so hard that it died.

Hitch: no that didn’t happen

Hitch: thats super dooper fake

Marco: I mean you really shouldn’t kill sharks... its not great for the environment

Annie: thats fair but it ate his arm so...

Marco: did you guys at least call an ambulance

Armin: no need he performed all necessary procedures on himself, the bleeding stopped and he’s fully patched up

Hitch: he’s not a real person

Hitch: HE IS FAKE

Marco: yeah that can’t be the Erwin I know... he’s so mild mannered

Erwin: I am real and I have lost an arm!

Hitch: please don’t send a pic I don’t want to see

Erwin: that’s understandable but fret not for I have achieved one handed typing

Hitch: bruh...

Reiner: F in the chat for his arm tho

Marco: F

Annie: F

Armin: F

Historia: F 

Zeke: F FFFFF

Zeke: I’m crying this sucks, I wanted to play catch with him he seemed so cool

Historia: calm down he’s not dead geez

Historia: at the rate he’s getting used to one arm you can probably play catch with him right now

Hitch: stop

Hitch: there is no way he is real

Hitch: yall b lion

Erwin: I will see you monday as you enter the school and you can confirm for yourself

Hitch: no no ur fake

Hitch: he’s not real

Historia: accept and move on

Hitch: hE s nOt rEaL

Annie: wild times. Wild times.

Armin: but hey I’m never going in the ocean again so thats cool

Armin: sharks are bigger in person than in books.

Armin: fuck the ocean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it just me or are these chapters getting shorter?
> 
> Also manga spoiler: 
> 
>  
> 
> ANNIES BACK DUDES IM HAPPY AND CANT WAIIIIT


End file.
